"Breast is Best" - My Journey

As with most things in motherhood, things often don't go according to plan. But over time, I've been able to feel proud of myself for following my intuition and feeding my baby the best way for my family.

When people would ask me, “Are you going to breastfeed?” I would always give a generic response. “I’m gonna try!” What people didn't know was that I desperately wanted to breastfeed. I think the most beautiful image in the world is a mother breastfeeding her baby in public. Name a more beautiful image, I can’t. My journey didn’t go the way I thought it would but I’m very happy with the outcome and I hope this inspires other mothers to make the right choice for themselves.

I ended up having an unplanned but elective C-Section, a decision I am very happy with but we will get to that in another post. After the surgery, they wheel you into the recovery room and the nurses immediately start trying to get your baby to latch. They’re poking and prodding and touching your boobs and offering nipple shields and it’s all very overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, nurses are the heroes of this story. It’s hard to tell if your baby is latching or getting any colostrum because it’s literal drops. After about two hours in recovery, they wheel you into your more permanent room where you’ll stay for the next 2-3 days. At this point (4 AM), I was in excruciating pain. I asked the nurses to take the baby to nursery and give him a bottle. No regrets! I needed to rest and I wanted my baby properly fed. I wasn't worried about nipple confusion. I was worried about recovering from major abdominal surgery,

The next morning is when the breastfeeding journey truly begins. And I felt good! I felt like something was happening? It became clear right away that my nipples aren't exactly made for this. They were flat and large. I had to use nipple shields. Oh god, those nipple shields. Nipple shields are tricky to put on and your baby quickly knocks them right off in their excitement to breastfeed. This made it a two-man job. Very easy when your family, nurses, and lactation consultants are there but I started to think, how in the hell would I do this by myself. The nurses were supportive and comforting and they push you to keep trying. I appreciated that and I truly wanted it to work. I left day one feeling okay about everything.

Day two is when everything changed. Suddenly, my baby was HUNGRY. It was like he had woken up finally and wanted to eat as much as possible. Now, it is hard to hear your baby crying, knowing they're hungry and knowing they’re not latching correctly enough to get sustenance. The nurses gave me a medicine dropper to fill with formula and put on the nipple shield or directly on my breast. (Kind of like tricking them into it). By the end, I was putting full droppers of formula in his mouth and the crying ceased. He was satisfied and I felt relieved. I thought, maybe I’m just not meant for breastfeeding but I can pump and supplement with formula?

Day three came and it was time to leave. I was sad to say goodbye to the nurses. They were my team! My team was so small and inexperienced now! Lol. We got home and I immediately started trying to pump once my milk came in. Here’s what they don't tell you about pumping. It’s a FULL-TIME job. You have to stop everything you're doing and just sit and pump. Now, I already had a full-time job and it was learning how to care for this newborn. Finally, a nurse came to visit my house and gave me the permission I’d been seeking. She said, “Meghan, you can breastfeed but it’s going to be really hard for you.” That was all the permission I needed. I stopped pumping and started exclusively using Enfamil Neuro Pro. And my baby was happy and chill and satisfied. No gas issues. It just worked for our family.

Do I wish I’d been able to have that breastfeeding experience? Of course! But that just wasn't in the cards for me and I’m happy I got to have a more stress-free time learning how to care for my baby. It’s much easier when everyone can feed the baby.

What was your experience like? Drop your story in the comments!!

Love,

The Bundor Family